kinoface: (嵐:Ohmiya)
♥kino ([personal profile] kinoface) wrote2017-06-02 06:22 pm

Interlude:

Pregnancy things:

* I'll be 23 weeks along as of tomorrow! Almost six months, more than halfway there, whoo! My appetite is back to normal, I don't really have any particular cravings or aversions anymore, I taste and smell things like a normal person, and my energy levels have evened out (for now). And I definitely have a bump.

* Let me preface this by saying that yes, I know gender is a social construct, and no, I didn't have a preference going in, and no, I'm not going to force my child in a heteronormative box, BUT, having said that: LENTL IS A BOY!!! A little boy!!!! I was so incredibly, ridiculously thrilled to find out -- not because he's a boy, I would have been just as happy if it were a girl, but because now I KNOW and I can say "he" and "him" instead of "it," and we can start to think more seriously about names, and... yes. Yes. I am excited about this little dude person.

* He moves around A LOT. I felt him for the first time about a month ago, and it started off as just ... little muscle spasms, almost. It didn't hurt or anything, but if I didn't know he was in there, I'd think that part of my tummy was just kind of twitchy. And then just a week or two ago I really, REALLY felt him move, like he was trying to elbow his way through a crowded room except the crowded room is my uterus. Now he's punching and kicking up a storm every day, and it really is a game-changer. It's not just a hypothetical blob that makes me feel like shit anymore; it really feels like there's a tiny person-to-be in there.

Other things they tell you that are true:
* My feet, ankles, and hands are super puffy and it sucks.
* My hips and lower back hurt and it sucks.
* I have to pee so goddamn much.

A thing they don't tell you that I now know is true:
* Apparently pregnancy can trigger eczema. How fun and exciting.

A thing they tell you that is true but they can't possibly stress it enough for you to really understand the full weight of it until you experience it yourself:
* HORMONES. FUCK. WITH YOUR. EMOTIONS. I'm 99% positive that I have cried more in the past six months than I have in my entire life with the possible exception of when I myself was a baby. Things I have cried about, in earnest, with tears rolling down my face at best and with full-on uncontrollable sobbing at worst: seeing a really fat dog, accidentally leaving my textbooks at home, hearing a cute story about INB as a kid, thinking for half a second about a sad thing that happened a decade ago to someone I've never even met personally, hoversparkle's high school graduation, etc. And then if I'm set off by an actually genuinely distressing thing, oh god, all bets are off, I will be sobbing hysterically for the next thirty minutes minimum. I've gotten really good, by the way, at cry-driving.

* Good things: My blood pressure, my weight gain, Lentl's growth, and Lentl's heartbeat are all exactly as they should be, which is awesome.

* Less than stellar things: My blood sugar ... not so much. I have to do another test to confirm it, but I probably have gestational diabetes. I expected this, because apparently it can be hereditary and my sister and mom and grandma and great-grandma all had it, and also it's not that big of a deal because as long as I manage it, it'll probably go away once Lentl is born. Still irritating though.

* Potentially horrible but currently unknown things: So ........ I've been doing some blood tests and getting some high-tech ultrasounds as part of the standard genetic screening process (i.e. to catch any genetic defects) and the results show that Lentl is high risk for a neural tube defect, which could potentially be fatal. The doctor told me this at the beginning of my last appointment and I just kind of sat there and started absorbing it, and we went through the rest of the appointment, and then I walked out to the car and got inside and turned the engine on, and then -- you guessed it -- I started sobbing and continued sobbing and drove home sobbing until I finally pulled over to sob some more because it was too much. Finally got home and cried some more and went to sleep, and when I woke up, INB told me he'd spent my whole nap scouring the internet for information and found some reputable-looking sources that said "high risk" still means very low risk, just higher than average, and that this kind of flagging as high risk happens all the time and very rarely leads to actual defects, AND that if Lentl did have a serious neural tube defect, he would not be as healthy as he seems to be based on heartbeat and movement. So ... all of that made me feel a lot better and is essentially the only reason I'm not crying at this very moment, also I love my proactive, fact-hungry husband.

* What all of that means: I have an appointment at a very fancy ultrasound place in Sacramento, scheduled for two weeks from yesterday. They'll do the ultrasound to see if they can determine whether or not there is a defect, and if the ultrasound is inconclusive OR if it appears that there might be one, we'll follow up with more invasive tests to find out for sure or how severe. This is still all very nerve-wracking but I'm choosing to think of it in terms of "everything's probably fine, this is just a precaution" rather than "Lentl might die" because otherwise every day of the next two weeks would be hellish and every time I felt Lentl move it would set me crying again and I would be nothing but a dehydrated husk by the time I actually got to my appointment. So...... positive thoughts!




Non-spoilery Arashi thoughts, with possible spoilery thoughts to follow in a later post once I've finished watching everything: THEY ARE WONDERFUL AND I LOVE THEM, AND BOTH OF THOSE ARE UNDERSTATEMENTS.

NinoEx thoughts: Dear god I need to be busy writing this weekend. I NEED TO BE.

School thoughts: All my grades are in and I got a 4.0 which makes me so happy I could scream because pulling it off while dragging my way through the first trimester was no easy feat. My only regret is that I took the credit/no credit option for my GE course so that I could slack off a little but I ended up getting 92% anyway so I might as well have just gone with a letter grade and boosted my GPA, but oh well!

Work thoughts: I'm returning to the Writing Lab for the summer (♥!), and I also picked up another student via a tutoring company that's paying me $22/hour, holy crap. It's only for four weeks (or at least, the one student I'm tutoring will only need me for four weeks, but it's possible that I'll pick up other students in that time or afterwards) but we're meeting for six hours a week so that's a hefty chunk of change, which is good because we REALLY need it right now.





Ummmm I think that's everything. OFF TO TRY AND WORK ON NINOEX.

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